Check It Out

Okay so I'm sure it's been made apparent that I'm a little obsessed with TheBump.com. Well, I just added a little something to my blog to prove again my obsession. Check out my baby ticker. It represents the size of my baby, week by week, with a picture of a fruit. This week, I have a raspberry baby :)

This Momma Needs Her Momma

The day before I found out I was pregnant, my mom and sister took a vacation with two of my cousins, my neice and nina to visit my tia in Florida. Part of me wanted to wait for my mom to get home because I knew that if I told her over the phone she'd tell everyone there. But then I thought it about it a little more. My sister Elena is like my best friend, my cousins Monica and Elisa are like my sisters, and my Tia Vicki and Nina Laura (I call her Nina Mommy) are like accessory mothers to me. Why the hell shouldn't they know? I want them all to be part of the journey with me - I need them.

I told my mom Friday afternoon while she and the rest were at Epcot. I remember her being completely shocked, my sister thinking I was kidding and hearing my Tia Vicki in the background hysterically laughing and then saying "She's keeping it? Well then let's celebrate!".

Though I couldn't imagine being away from Sebastian at the time, I wanted SO badly to be there with him. My sister started crying while on the phone with me and told me "Jessica, I know you're going to get stressed out about everything but don't worry. Everything will be okay, I promise." And you know what, I believe her with all my heart; and a lot of it has to do with knowing that I got a support team of amazing women to help me with whatever I need.



And I mean whatever ;)

Tonight me and my bro-in-law, Daniel, are going to be picking up my mom and sister and I'll be getting to see my Nina Mommy, Monica and Elisa. All I'm looking forward to are those big, booby-cushioned hugs your can only get from your closest women.

Did I Mention?

Sebastian got an interview for a home care company! His game plan is to kind of milk the got-a-lady-with-a-baby-on-the-way thing. No shame in it. Anyway, cross your fingers, because honestly almost all of our success rides on him finding a job. His interview is tomorrow so I'm hoping he'll be going to bed tomorrow night as a practicing respiratory therapist.

Too Much Too Early?

It's only been four days since I found out that I had a little embryonic bun in the oven, but I can't help but spend most of time reading through pregnancy websites like TheBump.com, WebMD.com, and ThePregnancyZone.com.

The thing about TheBump is that it has taken up so much of time with all of its nifty tools like their Gender Chart which is an ancient Chinese chart that predicts the sex of your baby based on your age and month of conception. It claims to be more than 90% accurate, so it looks like I might be having a girl.

And since I've calculated that I might have a girl, my gears got right to spinning over names. The Bump also has their Baby Namer, which let's you search through names based on sex, origin and what other's have ranked them. You can also create a favorites list and even a poll so that friends and family can vote on the names you've picked from the list. Kinda nifty.

Anyway, like I've said, I've jumped the gun a bit and be and Sebastian have our list of favorite names. Sebastian and I are both Latin so we kind of want to have names from the Spanish language. The thing is that Spanish female names mostly consist of Margarita, Consuela and Maria and we're really not planning on spawning an abuela straight out of the womb. So we're a little more flexible with the girl names.

Girls:
Matilda
Mina
Penelope
April
Alice
Liliana

Boys:
Francisco
Ignacio
Guillermo
Samuel
and Raul (my father's name) as a middle name

Hopefully I'm not getting ahead of myself. I just really want this baby and have already grown attached to the idea. Maybe I should hold my breath until the first trimester passes in about 6 weeks and just put all my focus on school. Speaking of which, I have a quiz tomorrow.

I think I have a laundry list of things you should wish me luck on, but for now just wish me luck on that quiz.

The Beginning

It all started with a break up. Sebastian and I had been together for three and half years when we decided to part ways in March earlier this year. It was awful - my world was officially rocked; but, admittedly, I hit the dating scene kind of quickly. Not only that, I had the bug to party. Stay up late, drink, smoke, be obnoxious - anything to make the point that I was young and had the party bug to get out of my system. After five months of "just having fun", as I liked to coin my status, my longing for Sebastian had grown overwhelming. He was my match, and it was only made clearer after dating a few...um...douchebags.

On an early August night I called him, we hung out, we made out and then, uh, watched some TV. We've been together since then with a new groove to our relationship.

I'd say we're much more responsible this time around, much more mature. I'd say we've found our balance. I'd say we've adjusted our priorities...except I wasn't on birth control, that is if you don't consider the pull-out method as birth control.

About a month later, one night I decided to relax with a clove cigarette (I don't know if they have fiber glass in them, okay?). I got greater head buzz than normal while driving around and listening to The Clash. Everything was aaaaaallllll good. I went to Starbucks to meet my friend Chris for some coffee, but hung out in the parking lot listening to Nina Simone while finishing my cigarette. Everything was groovy until I went inside Starbucks and found a seat. I got instant nausea and had to go home immediately. Since then I've been terribly nauseated, especially by the smell of new candles I just bought from Ikea. Total bummer. And though you would think duh, you're probably pregnant, I still brushed it off as a bug I got from my boss at work (she had been sick a couple of weeks ago).

I decided to go to the doctor last Friday the 24th just to see if I had, you know, something normal and non-pregnanty like acid reflux of the stomach flu. Well, at my mother's request I got a pregnancy test as well. When the physician's assistant told me I pregnant, I can't even recall how I felt. I felt a mixture of things. I was by myself so I felt vulnerable, but also excited to tell someone. I felt like I could not believe it, but honesty, pull-out method? I mean come on, who were me and Sebastian kidding? I felt everything but unhappy, really. And all I wanted to do was rush to Sebastian's house while the nurse took a good 15 minutes to organize herself before taking my blood. I swear it was the longest 15 minutes of my life, not to mention the drive home.

Today I lie on my bed after drinking a fruit shake with an embryo, hormones, weight gain and prenatal vitamins starting to take affect. My mind is racing with stressful thoughts, blissful thoughts, anticipatory thoughts, curious thoughts.

The reality of it is that Sebastian and I aren't doing it the ideal way. We were going to get married once I finished school and then start thinking about kids once I turned 27 or 28 or something. But instead, I'm two years away from finishing school and Sebastian just finished and is in the process of looking for a job (he also went to school for respiratory therapy). There's no ring, no home with a picket fence and only insurance for one of us (thank goodness it's me). But the other reality of it is that the love between Sebastian and I is unshakable. I don't know a lot of things, but what I do know is that our baby will be raised with love and support.